First of all, I have had one helluva week, let me tell you. I sure hope this yo-yoing goes away once I graduate, because it is wrecking havoc on my emotional well-being.
So, here we are. Day 2 of NaNoWriMo. I have only 535 words, and I can already tell I am not going to be a winner this year. It was really wishful thinking that I would be done with my grad school obligations in time to participate. I have the weekend to keep trying, but I have received news that, in order to please a committee member, I will have to make a serious effort at revising several things in my dissertation in the next two and a half weeks. Revisions (for which I do not yet have the specifics) can be anything from adding a sentence or two here to doing more research and incorporating it into the existing chapters. I am already afraid that two and a half weeks will not nearly be enough time to make these revisions. What these revisions also mean is that any writing energy I expend should be devoted to my dissertation. Because in addition to these revisions, I also have a 45-minute presentation to prepare based on my dissertation. This presentation will be given to my defense committee who decides whether or not I pass.
So, for me this year instead of NaNoWriMo I have ReDissWriMo…or Revise my Disseration Writing Month…Okay, I probably could have come up with something better, but whatever…it’s still relatively early in the morning and I have classes to prepare on top of everything else.
Seven months ago I decided to write a novel. Seven months later, I don’t have but a handful of pages of creative writing. Still plugging away on my doctorate. But without staring at it too long for fear of startling it into scampering away, I am pretty sure I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m still going to keep my head down and pay attention to my footsteps, though, until right before the light hits me…Just in case the light turns out to be further away than it seems. No more emotional yo-yoing!!
To all my fellow NaNoWriMo participants, I send you good vibes and wish you well on your endeavors. It turns out I’m on a different train this year, but I’ll be sure to join you on the journey next year…At which time, I hope to already have some substantial progress towards a novel completed.